spotifylistener:

when i have a kid i’m going to make his middle name “lazy” or something so that when ppl yell at him like “holy frick you’re so lazy” he can just be like “yeah well lazy’s my middle name” and swag the fuck outta there

roastings:

“are you straight or gay?”

yes

googlehomo:

fun prank: stand up in the middle of class. run out of the school. keep running. do not turn back. start a new life under a fake name.

(Source: slydigger)

genocidercyo:

clockey:

you’re the window to my wall

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls

do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other fucking galaxy of swirls and patterns 

(Source: ytoob)